By Diane McDaniel Rhodes, Chief Program Officer
New romance can be weird and awkward under the best of circumstances. It’s normal to have questions about what your new love interest is thinking, feeling, doing, meaning, etc. Behaviors that are signs of potential danger in a relationship can be hard to see.
- Being friends first – even if you are really attracted to someone
- Staying true to your usual behavior – keep doing things you love to do with the people you love
- Checking in with friends and family about the new relationship – they can see things you can’t
- Appreciating your new love just exactly the way they are right now
- Clarifying. Everything.
Relationship bad behaviors that might seem funny or romantic but are really trouble – the person you are in a relationship with:
- never has a good thing to say about their ex
- frequently talks trash about other people
- wants something about your relationship to be a secret
- won’t introduce you to friends and family
- party vs. dates – only wants to meet-up and party with you, but never wants to do anything outside of partying
- enjoys scaring you
- talks about how someone (maybe you) isn’t good enough. Belittling someone might seem like teasing, but is really trouble.
- is disrespectful to family members
- tells you how to dress, what to eat or where to go
- is jealous or resentful when you spend time with others
- hurts you and laughs
- uses physical force to get their way or makes you do something you don’t want to do
- shows up uninvited or unexpectedly
- follows you around or always seems to be watching you
- frequently accuses you of unfaithfulness, or constantly worries you are with someone else
- blames you for things they do
- makes your friends uncomfortable
Obsession and fear are only romantic in fiction, never in life.
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