Red Flags

Do you…

  • Feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
  • Hear your partner saying you can’t do anything right?
  • Get embarrassed by your partner’s behavior toward you?
  • Believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
  • Avoid topics or situations out of fear of angering your partner?
  • Does your partner often undermine your parenting?

Abusive behaviors – when a loved one/caretaker/employer

  • Humiliates, criticizes or yells at you.
  • Blames you for their behavior.
  • Threatens to hurt you, your kids or pets.
  • Threatens to take your kids away.
  • Makes you engage in sexual acts against your will.
  • Doesn’t respect your choice to use birth control.
  • Acts jealous and possessive.
  • Keeps you from seeing friends and family.
  • Threatens to “out” you to family or co-workers.
  • Limits your access to money, necessities, and personal documents.
  • Withholds medication and limits your access to healthcare.
  • Prevents you from getting a job or going to school.
  • Constantly checks up on you (in person, phone/text, through social media).
  • Posts inappropriate or sexually explicit messages on your website/blog.
  • Calls at all hours, waking you up, interfering with your daily activities, and gets angry if you don’t answer immediately.
  • Damages, breaks, or steals technology that you need to assist with daily living or to do your schoolwork or job.
  • Installs spyware or other computer software to monitor your online activity.
  • Stalks you by monitoring your location through the use of a “friend’s” plan on your cell phone or GPS or a similar technology.
  • Isolates you by cutting off your internet or phone service, or other access to technology without telling you.
  • Threatens to kill or hurt him/herself if you leave.

Does your friend or loved one…

  • Have frequent injuries resulting from “accidents”?
  • Frequently and suddenly miss work, school or cancel plans?
  • Receive a lot of calls/texts from their partner?
  • Fear their partner, or refer to a partner’s rages or behavior?
  • Tend to have trouble saying no to anything that their partner asks for?
  • Isolate from friends and families?

Red Flags of Teen Dating Violence

For friends…

  • Their partner calls them names or puts them down in front of others.
  • Their partner acts extremely jealous when they talk to friends of the opposite sex, even when it is completely innocent.
  • Your friend often cancels plans at the last minute, for reasons that sound untrue.
  • Your friend frequently apologizes for their partner.
  • Your friend’s partner is constantly checking up on them, calling or texting and demanding to know where they have been.
  • You’ve seen the partner lose their temper, maybe even get violent when they’re mad.
  • Your friend is always worried about upsetting their partner.
  • Your friend is giving up things that used to be important to them, such as spending time with friends or other activities, and is becoming more and more isolated.
  • Your friend’s weight, appearance or grades have changed dramatically.
  • Your friend has injuries they can’t explain, or the explanations they give don’t add up.

For parents…

Does your child?

  • Make changes in their daily rituals?
  • Retreat from school or activities?
  • Experience isolation from friends?
  • Show a dramatic in weight, appearance and/or grades?
  • Wear clothing inappropriate for the weather (possibly to hide marks)?
  • Have visible marks or bruises?
  • Spend excessive amounts of time with the person they’re dating?
  • Spend excessive amounts of time in contact with the person they are dating through cell phones and computers?

If you are experiencing any of this and need help, call the SafePlace 24-hour Hotline: 512.267.SAFE (7233). For Deaf people of all identities, please use relay/VRS.

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